The Reflective Power of Country Music

What a day. My third period class was hell, I broke out the stopwatch and for all the time they wasted shutting up I kept them into their lunch, which they have right after my class. I also had five lunch detentions in that class. And one of my girls told me the reason she couldn’t pay attention was because I couldn’t teach (she apologized later when I spoke to her on the phone tonight). Thank God I get fourth period after them, they’re an awesome class. Some good news is I saw C. during fifth period today (he was in the hall – his teacher kicked him out of class) and he has been switched back into my class! My colleague, Y., was pleased – though she’s a great teacher and would have done fine with him. But I am glad to have C. back and all his challenges. It’s a wonder some kids struggle so in school – this is the fourth time his schedule has been changed in 2.5 weeks.

One of my new students, N, stayed after school today for some extra help. Her mom sent a note on the first day explaining that she was Special Ed but files had to be sent from Ohio, where they were moving back from (Katrina evacuee). Anyway, we went over long division and the like, and realized she has no concept of multiplication. Worked on that a little, and discovered that her method of doing addition and subtraction was to write out tally marks and count them or cross them out. I’m making her flashcards, which she said she would practice and her mom was pleased to hear about, but I wonder if she needs a different class. I want to keep her, she’s so sweet and tries so very hard, I just worry I am not going to be able to give her all the time she needs. I drove her home after and we talked about her other classes – they sound just as bad if not worse. I’d love to know what these people have been teaching her since, I don’t know, fourth grade?! Poor kid.

I also started calling some parents this evening – I have a few kids who have been out for a few days as the flu is going around (including the swine flu) and some of the conversations were great, and one heartbreaking. I knew part of this story, but F, one of my girls, who lived with her mother found her dead in the beginning of the summer. Like woke up in the morning and found her disabled mother dead. F did everything for her and it was just the two of them, my student now lives with other family. Needless to say, this is having a very serious effect on her and she’s having a really hard time in school. She’s told me some when I asked – I could clearly see she was upset about something – but now I have the whole picture. I definitely cried after that conversation. She has had no counseling because of money, and the school counselors don’t have time. All I can do is be there for her, support her as much as I can, and pray, but that seems like a drop in the bucket compared to what this girl has gone through.

Anyway, on a kind of more uplifting note, since I am now living in the South I feel like my love of country music is now justified, much to the chagrin of my parents. As such, I spend a lot of time listening to the country stations on XM radio (and BBC, interestingly enough) and there is this song that gets me every single time I hear it. It’s called “What I’m For” by Pat Green, and he lists all the things he from the mundane to great ideas (mustard on fries to supporting ex-cons out of prison who want a second chance). It’s an awesome, feel-good song and this is part of the second verse:

For the inner city teacher
With her heart stuck in her throat
Can still see God in every child
And never gives up hope

Now, I’m not technically inner-city, but the point remains, and I wouldn’t say my heart is ever stuck in my throat, but I definitely have those “what the hell am I doing” moments. And as a funny sidenote, until I looked up these lyrics I thought that last part was “can still see God in every child who never gets a vote.” I’m my father’s daughter, yes, but also some interesting political commentary since so many of my kids ARE those forgotten people of Katrina and New Orleans. But anyway, it always makes me think, DO I see God in every child? Even the ones I can’t stand and want to smack for their attitude – how and where do I find God in them? And how do I love them despite themselves? And now that I know the actual line, I wonder will I reach a point where I give up hope? I don’t want to be a teacher who shrugs and thinks so-and-son can’t or doesn’t want to learn, but will I get to that point? I don’t ever want to give up hope on my kids – not just in algebra or freshman year but in their whole lives.

Country music is so thought-provoking!